Scars of the Uchiha
by BLUEanimeGIRL025
Summary: Sasuke is depressed and cutting himself. What happens when Naruto Uzumaki finds out? yaoi, sasunaru.
1. Chapter 1

_**Disclaimer: **I do not own Naruto_

_**Summary: **Sasuke is depressed and cutting himself. What happens when Naruto Uzumaki finds out?_

_**Warning: **Shonen-ai, yaoi, NaruSasu... and cutting, obviously._

_

* * *

_He nicked his arm again, near the shoulder, and watched as the warm crimson liquid gushed out and flowed down his arm in a steady stream. He touched it with a curious finger and rubbed the sticky substance between his thumb and middle finger. The feel of blood was always the same, but every time he touched it, it was like he was touching it for the first time. 

He sighed, letting it all out. _Just forget, _he told himself. _Forget it all, forget…_

The thoughts were like a mealody in his head, soft and soothing like a lullaby, filling his mind, and he _did_ forget. He forgot everything. He was drifting on a dark cloud over a black abyss of emotion – pain, regret, loss, and anger… And he knew that if he didn't keep himself afloat, he would fall through the cloud, and the memories would flood him.

_Just forget…_

He breathed slowly, in and out. Repeat. In and out. Repeat. His heartbeat added to the rhythm and pounded in his chest.

_You're dead, Uchiha. _

The sharp thought interrupted his fading away, and his breathing became rough. He rasped air into his lungs, quickly and sharply. Unwanted tears stung his eyes, though he tried not to cry. His fast panting gave him a headache, and made him feel light-headed. This was becoming a regular occurrence for the raven-haired boy.

Picturing the blood in his mind, his breathing calmed again. He sank back against the wall, smiling bitterly, and opened one eye to see the blade on the floor between his legs. He picked it up slowly. Once again he would let his trouble bleed away, dribble out of his skin and seep into the wood floor beneath him.

The memories would fade, he would forget.

He cut himself sharply once, twice, three times. He finally dropped the blade and sank again with a sigh as he closed his eyes. Every sensation of the blood flowing over his skin gave him such pleasure, and a cold chill ran up his spine. What would people think if they could see him now? He laughed bitterly.

This addiction was like a drug... or good sex.

Sasuke knew he was in trouble, he knew he needed some kind of help from somebody, anybody. He was very aware of these facts, and he acknowledged them as well. But it was not enough to stop him. For now, he would keep doing what he was doing; continue abusing his body like this. It was his only escape.

* * *

Sasuke hated the color blue. 

But not the same color blue as the shirts he wore, no. It was the light azure blue of the large innocent eyes of the boy who was now staring at him with a frown. "What do you want, dobe?" Sasuke demanded, annoyed by the other boy's look.

Naruto was turned around in his seat, one elbow propped up on Sasuke's desk holding his chin up so that he could stare at the Uchiha boy. "Aren't you hot?" Naruto asked Sasuke quietly.

Unfortunately for the blonde boy, Sasuke took this the wrong way and hit Naruto upside the head. "What, are you going to turn into one of those stupid fan girls now?" Sasuke demanded in a loud whisper. Sakura, who was sitting nearby, gasped and stared at him incredulously.

Naruto winced, rubbing his head. "Ouch, Sasuke-teme, that hurt!" he exclaimed. "I didn't mean it like _that_! I'm just saying, you wear those long sleeved shirts _everyday_ and it's the middle of summer. Don't you get hot?"

Sasuke shrugged, and looked away coolly. In his mind, he snickered. Yeah right, like he was really going to tell Naruto Uzumaki about his problems.

"Okay class," the English teacher announced happily as he walked in, late, as usual. Kakashi-sensei smiled behind the mask and told everyone to get out a sheet of paper. "All right, now today we're going to be writing obituaries. What I want you to do is act as if you have just died, and I want you to write about the accomplishments of your life and cause of death. Don't forget to put your name at the top." With that, the sliver haired man sat behind his desk, which he propped his feet up on, and pulled out one of the small orange books he always seemed to have with him.

Sasuke smirked as he wrote his name across the top of his paper. He thought bitterly about what he should write; _"Sasuke Uchiha, dead at age nineteen. At age sixteen he nearly succeeded in committing suicide, and was soon submitted into a mental institution where he eventually managed to kill himself three years later."_

Sasuke crumpled up the sheet of paper, which was still blank other than his name. Another zero couldn't really damage his grade anymore than it already was. He played with the paper wad for a while, but soon grew bored and threw it at the back of Uzumaki Naruto's head. The blond boy turned around at frowned at him. "What's your problem?" Naruto demanded in a harsh whisper.

"Something you'd like to share with the class Naruto and Sasuke?" Kakashi asked from the desk, smiling happily. Sasuke smirked, and Naruto turned back around with a huff. "I thought not," Kakashi muttered, eyes already glued back onto the pages of his book.

Sasuke sat bored for a while, until, a moment later, Naruto threw his own paper wad back at him. Sasuke growled, annoyed, at the damn thing, which had smacked him right in the forehead. In front of him, Naruto chuckled.

Sasuke un-wadded the paper ball and flattened it out as best he could so that he could read the scribbled writing that was Naruto's handwriting. It read, _"You. Me. After school, the usual place."_

Sasuke smirked, and wrote at the bottom, _"No fucking way dobe. You'll have to try harder than that if you want to get into my pants, fag."_

His reply, _"You know what I mean, ass-wipe."_

"_No."_

"_Afraid you'll lose?"_

"_I'm busy today. I'll kick you're ass tomorrow when I have the time for it."_

A new sheet of paper was sent next, seeing as they had used up all the room on the first one. _"What could be more important than sparing?" _Naruto demanded.

Sasuke laughed. _"You really think you're that important?"_

When Naruto read what Sasuke had written, he inhaled deeply and sat up straighter in his seat. He didn't write back. _Must've hit a nerve,_ Sasuke thought bitterly. He sighed. Oh well, that was amusing for a little while. Now what was he supposed to do for the rest of the period?

* * *

After school Sasuke dragged his ass home, as he usually did. He came through the door with a sigh and slung his backpack over onto the couch. Halfway across the living room, he collapsed in a crumpled heap on the floor. He was home once again, in this house. This large, _empty_ house. The place where Itachi had killed their family so long ago. 

His older brother was still in jail for it, too. He had spared Sasuke, and the police had turned up later that night to retrieve the killer. What made Sasuke sick was the fact that Itachi was still alive. His punishment had been a lifetime in prison, instead of a death sentence. It was just wrong. They even still let Itachi write Sasuke _letters_ every now and then.

Sasuke had gotten another one just the day before.

He wondered if Itachi knew how much pain it caused Sasuke when he retrieved another of these letters, wishing him well. He wondered if Itachi only did it to torture him, knowing full well the haunting memories that emerged from the dust because of it. Happy memories entwined with the memory of his older brother standing above their dead parents with the look of a killer in his eyes, laughing maniacally. Sasuke would never admit now how much he had loved his brother, and looked up to him.

The incident had been a turning point in Sasuke's life. He trusted no one, cared about no one, sometimes not even himself. Which was why he was ever so slowly sliding the blade across his skin today, bleeding all over the floor. The happy memories were gone, dead with his family. Itachi had taken everything from him. His older brother might as well _have _killed him that night, along with the rest of their family. Sasuke wondered, had Itachi let him live just knowing how much Sasuke would suffer in the future?

_Just forget… _Sasuke's mind said soothingly. _Forget…_

He cut himself again, deeper this time. _Forget, little brother…_

Sasuke sobbed once as his vision went dark. He was grateful for the black out, even if it was because of blood loss.

* * *

Naruto couldn't believe what he was seeing. 

After school that day, he had been determined to find out what was so important to Sasuke made him absolutely refuse to fight him. Sasuke had been so distracted by whatever was on his mind that he hadn't even noticed Naruto following him, which was a bad sign for the Uchiha. Once home, Sasuke shut the door easily behind him, and Naruto glanced in on him from a window.

The living room windows were all covered with heavy red curtains so that the light of day could not come in. Naruto had managed to find a broken window. There was no telling how long it had been so. He reached a hand through, careful not to get cut, and pulled back one of the curtains easily.

It was a good thing that it was not a sunny day, or else Sasuke would have noticed the light pouring in from the window. The dim light wasn't enough for the raven-haired boy to think much of.

Naruto glanced in to see Sasuke sitting in the floor, cutting himself.

Naruto gaped as he watched. Sasuke slashed the skin on his arm again and again, tears flowing silently down his cheeks. Blood was going everywhere, but from personal experience, Naruto knew it wasn't enough to die. Soon, Sasuke slumped forward and sobbed, then he stopped moving. The blade fell from his hand.

Naruto sighed sadly as he let the curtain fall back into place. He should have known that Sasuke would be doing something like this. Naruto had never seen the boy so broken.

The blond tried the door, and surprisingly, it swung wide open. He couldn't believe that Sasuke didn't lock the door. Naruto crossed the room cautiously, trying to make as little sound as possible in case Sasuke was still conscious.

Once he reached the raven-haired boy, he lightly tapped him on the shoulder. Yeah, he was unconscious all right. Naruto sighed again, and lowered Sasuke easily onto his back. Then, he went in search of a bathroom.

After finding what he would need for the cuts, he went to Sasuke's side again. _Shit, I should've gotten a towel or something. He's lost a lot of blood now. Stupid Uzumaki! You should've known._

He cleaned Sasuke's cuts and bandaged his arms, then picked the raven-haired boy up and laid him gently on the couch. Afterward, Naruto explored the house a bit.

Sasuke's house was _huge_. And it was mostly empty. There was hardly any furniture. Naruto also found a door that was locked, and no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't get it open. He shrugged it off, deciding not to invade Sasuke's privacy.

He also found Sasuke's bedroom.

Sasuke's room was somehow different than the rest of the house. The curtains were parted slightly and not so heavy, to let more light in. The walls were white, and not black, as Naruto would have guessed. There was a single queen-sized bed, a dresser full of Sasuke's emo clothes, and school stuff. Also, on the bed was a single folded sheet of paper, stacked neatly atop a tear-stained envelope.

_What's this?_ Naruto wondered. He picked up the paper and envelope. His eyes widened as he saw the address, realizing that this was a letter from Sasuke's older brother in jail.

"That's right." Naruto jumped nearly two feet in the air, and spun quickly on one of his heels to see Sasuke, looking defeated, standing in the doorway. "Itachi still writes to me sometimes, from prison." He crossed the room, one hand over his bandaged arm. Sasuke snatched the letter from Naruto's hand. He looked angry now. "I'm surprised he hasn't stabbed somebody with a pencil by now, or something," Sasuke muttered. "Wouldn't surprise me."

The raven-haired boy glanced from the letter to Naruto. "What are you doing here?" he demanded.

"Well… I- I..." Naruto wasn't sure what to say.

Sasuke sighed. "Just go, Naruto."

"Sasuke," Naruto said quietly. He reached out a hand toward the other boy.

"I said get out!" Sasuke shouted, smacking his hand away. "It's none of your business. Leave!"


	2. Chapter 2

_**Disclaimer: **once again, sadly, I do not own Naruto, okay?

* * *

_

Sasuke didn't come to school the next day, or the day after. Naruto was beginning to worry for the raven-haired boy. Well, more than he had already been worrying of course. Naruto walked home from school that Friday, arms in his pockets, staring down at the ground. It had been sprinkling when he sat out, so he had decided to take the long way home, but now it was pouring.

Naruto was so deep in thought on the way home, in fact, that he hadn't even noticed the rain. Finally seeing the rain hitting the pavement beneath his feet, he stopped and glanced up at the sky. Then he simply shifted his grey hoodie and kept walking. On the way to his apartment, Naruto had to pass Sasuke's house, which made him sigh and stare up at it looming over him.

Naruto had been doing a lot of thinking lately, and he had finally decided. With another sigh, he looked up determinedly at the old house and stepped through the gate. Sasuke had set a few minor traps in his yard; not surprising, and simple. Naruto finally found himself on the doorstep, and the door _was _locked this time.

An ordinary door lock was simple enough for Naruto, and finally he turned the handle and the door swung open with ease. It was there, standing in that dimly lit living room, that Naruto really began to worry. What if Sasuke had killed himself?

Heart pounding, he raced through the house, wracking his brain, trying to remember the way to Sasuke's room. The darkness of the house was no problem for Naruto; the nine-tailed fox within him enhanced his eyesight tenfold, and soon he was standing in the doorway of Sasuke Uchiha's room.

"Sasuke!" he exclaimed.

* * *

Sasuke's vision clouded with tears. He sobbed again as he slowly cut his arm wide open, starting from the wrist and moving on up his forearm to his elbow. He hadn't even noticed the hot tears spilling silently down his face until then. With one last ragged breath, he slumped over, ready for the final end. The world darkened, and he welcomed it. He let out a soft sigh, the memories which had haunted him for so long filling his mind for the last damned time.

"Sasuke!"

The raven-haired boy's eyes widened once before he blacked out. That was Naruto's voice! Suddenly, different memories came to mind, not ones of his family and his past, but memories of Naruto.

Sasuke drifted on a cloud in the darkness once more, and his whole life flashed before him. The memories of his once happiness, and of the massacre of his family, stung like poison, but what surprisingly hurt even worse was each memory of him and the little blond dobe. Sasuke realized, for the first time, that he _had _been happy; he had just been too blinded with regret to see it.

Just then, while floating away, he remembered the littlest things. He saw himself sitting at a wooden picnic table after school in the park, bored again, resting his chin on his hand. Naruto, who had insisted on their coming here to eat ramen, sat across from him at the table and grinned as he slurped up another noodle. Sasuke smirked. Naruto looked like such a dork when he did that.

Naruto pushed Sasuke's own steaming bowel toward the raven-haired boy before seeing his smirk. "What's that look for teme? You think you can take me on today?" Naruto picked up his bowel of ramen and gulped the last contents down. Then he stood. "Come on!" he urged, taking on a fighting stance.

Sasuke wanted to laugh at the memory. Why hadn't he seen it before?

Still, thinking back on it, Naruto had had his own mask. He grinned like an idiot all the time, called Sasuke rude names and foolishly threatened to kick his ass all the time, but once they began to spar, Naruto's face took on a serious look. The blonde's eyes hazed over with thought, his brow furrowed with concentration. It was always like that, every time.

"Sasuke." Who was that? Calling his name? Naruto again? Was this another memory? "Oi! Sasuke-teme!"

This time, Sasuke didn't fall through his cloud; instead he floated up, and his mind rose to the surface. He heard voices. It was bright. He opened his eyes a little, blinking to adjust his vision to the light streaming in, to see Naruto and Sakura standing at the end of his bed – his _hospital _bed – arguing. Sakura smacked Naruto over the head. "Shut _up _Naruto!" the pink haired girl exclaimed. "That's no way to treat someone in the hospital! And besides, the nurse said not to wake him up…" she trailed off then, seeing that Sasuke's eyes were open. She gasped lightly.

Sasuke's eyes trailed over to Naruto. "Hey dobe," he said quietly, his voice hoarse.

"Teme," Naruto acknowledged him with a nod. His face and body movement said that this was just another one of their usual greetings, while his eyes were serious and said something completely different.

"What am I doing here?" Sasuke asked.

"Oh, Sasuke-kun," Sakura exclaimed. "You don't remember? Naruto said you invited him over for dinner, and you dropped the knife while you were cooking and cut yourself."

No, Sasuke didn't remember any of that. "What?" he demanded.

Naruto crossed his arms, looking annoyed. "Duh, teme, I went over to see why you weren't coming to school. Then I told you to come eat ramen with me 'cuz you were sick and ramen would make you feel better, but _you_ wanted me to eat something besides ramen. That's why we were cooking. Don't you remember _any_ of that?"

It took Sasuke a moment to realize that Naruto was covering for him. But why would Naruto do something like that? Why make excuses for _him?_

A nurse came in then. "Oh!" she exclaimed, seeing Sasuke awake. "Did either of you do this?" she demanded of Naruto and Sakura. "I specifically told you _not _to wake him up! He's lost a lot of blood and he needs his rest!"

Then, the woman promptly began shooing the two of them out the door and messing with the machines next to Sasuke's bed. "That was a close one, young man," the woman told him. "You could have died! Why, what kind of parent makes their children cook for themselves. And use knives no less!"

Sasuke stared blankly down at the white sheets of the hospital bed, then easily flipped his right arm over to see the stitches running up and down it. "The kind of parents who are dead," he said quietly.

* * *

Sasuke was back in school the following week. Hardly anyone knew of the incident that had landed him in the hospital all weekend, but Sakura, being who she was, soon spread the word. Before long, Sasuke had a group of fan-girl sympathizers and Naruto-haters hanging on his every word and following his every step. By lunch, it had become very tiring, so Sasuke ditched.

Naruto and Sasuke hadn't spoken to each other all day, or at least, not any differently than they normally would have, but Sasuke wasn't surprised when he felt Naruto's presence behind him, following him home. Sasuke was even nice enough to leave the door unlocked and the traps in the yard un-set for the blond boy so that it wouldn't take him forever to get into the house.

Sasuke had some stuff to say to him, after all.

The Uchiha plopped himself down on his bed, ignoring the bloodstains all over it, and waited. As he had suspected, it didn't take long for Naruto to show up in the doorway.

"Why'd you _do_ that?" Sasuke asked, not bothering to sit up or look at the other boy.

"Do what?" Naruto asked shortly.

"Make excuses up for me?" Sasuke opened one eye as Naruto crossed the room and sat at the edge of the bed, staring down sadly at the stains.

"You know as well as I do the hell people would have put you through if they _really _knew what had happened. It's the way of the adults, when things are bad, to make them worse. And the fan girls that have been following you around all day…?" Naruto trailed off, leaving it to the imagination.

Sasuke shuddered. "Eh… yeah."

They were both quiet for a really long time. The silence stretched on and on until finally Sasuke began to fidget uncomfortably. With a sigh, he sat up. "Why did you even bother saving me?" he demanded, staring the blond in the eye.

The large blue skies that were Naruto's eyes were hurt, and slightly confused, but not sympathetic. Naruto knew very well that Sasuke wanted no more sympathy today, from anyone. Naruto turned his gaze away. "Well… because…" he said quietly. He didn't continue.

"Because why?" Sasuke pressed, louder this time.

"Because I…" Naruto looked back up. "I didn't want… to loose you."

Sasuke was taken aback by this. "What is that supposed to mean?" he demanded quietly.

Naruto sighed. "I came over the other day…. to tell you." With a matter-of-fact look on his face, he rolled up his sleeves and held out his arms to Sasuke. The Uchiha was shocked. Scars, old and new, ran all up and down both of Naruto's arms. "Do you understand? Even a little?" Naruto asked. Sadly, he put his arms down and rested them in his lap.

"I know how it goes, Sasuke. When you feel like no one else understands, or could ever understand, when you feel like you're all alone…" He rubbed his arms, as if to put the warmth back in them and his voice dropped to a whisper when next he spoke. "It's the worst feeling in the world."

What could Sasuke say to that? He wasn't used to the whole let's-confess-our-feelings thing, so, he stayed quiet.

With another sigh, Naruto rolled out his sleeves again. "Anyway, I just wanted you to know that you're _not _alone." He stood, as if ready to leave. "I won't tell you to stop cutting. Hell, I still do it all the time. But… you have a reason to live, Sasuke…. Think about it."

* * *

And Sasuke did think about it. His mind wandered to when he had nearly killed himself, and Naruto had found him. He thought back on all those memories he had seen in his near-death state; the memories between him and Naruto…

Sasuke sighed and flipped over onto his other side. Why couldn't he stop thinking about this? Was it because this was the first night he hadn't cut himself in a while? Earlier, before lying down for bed, he had avoided the blade, something he couldn't remember ever doing before.

He sighed again and sat up, throwing the covers back. It seemed he wouldn't be getting much sleep tonight anyway. Throwing on a shirt and pants, he decided a walk might do him some good.

He walked on and on, for how long, he wasn't sure. The glow of the full moon lighted his steps and showed him the way. The stars were bright tonight as well. Those were things that Sasuke had stopped paying much attention to, but now that he was out here, he was amazed by it.

Suddenly he stopped in his tracks. Someone was… singing…? Curiously, Sasuke followed the sound until he found Naruto sitting on a wooden swing hanging from a tree branch. The blonde dobe was actually singing. Sasuke was going to snicker, but ended up simply smiling. Naruto was such a _dork_.

_(A/N: In other words, "dork" is Sasuke's way of saying that Naruto is cute.)_

Naruto sighed. Then he sang:

_"Sweet bitter tears, standing in the bloody rain. Drenched in my sorrows again. Swing, baby angel, sit under the branch of a tree. Sing yourself to sleep, baby angel. Chilled to the bone, cold and alone. You don't have to hold in the tears when there's no one there to see you cry."_

Naruto sighed again. Was he finished? When he didn't continue, Sasuke decided to announce his presence. "Haha, you're such a dork."

Naruto spun around, and seeing Sasuke, he gave a weak smile. Sasuke could see shining streaks running down each of Naruto's cheeks from dry tears. "Hey, teme," Naruto greeted quietly. Then he turned around again to stare back up at the moon. "How are you doing tonight?" Naruto asked when Sasuke didn't say anything.

"Hn…" He shrugged, and leaned against the trunk of the tree.

Naruto nodded, as if to say that he understood.

For a while, neither of them spoke, or even acknowledged each other. Though, Sasuke's mind was racing. He was trying to figure out how exactly to say what he needed to say. "Naruto," he said finally.

Naruto turned his way sharply, then smiled slightly. "Uh-oh. Serious-Sasuke," he stated.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Sasuke demanded. Of course, it was just like Naruto to get on Sasuke's nerves right when he was about to say something important. But then again, that was one of the reasons why Sasuke loved him so much.

_Whoa, hold the phone… _Sasuke thought. _Love?! Where the fuck did that come from? I don't…love… him. Right?_

Sasuke looked Naruto up and down, the grinning blonde and his big blue eyes. Seeing Sasuke's serious expression again, Naruto's grin slipped and he looked up at him questioningly. "Hey, Sasuke-teme, are you sick?"

_Love? Well… maybe, a little._

Sasuke smirked. "Nothing, dobe."

And just like that, Naruto's grin was back. Sasuke was glad. "Well, it's just that, a second ago… you used my name instead of calling me "dobe" again. So… what were you going to say anyway?"

"Nothing, dobe," he said again with a content smile on his face. "It's just that… I think I've finally found my reason to live."

If possible, Naruto's grin widened even more. "That's good."

Once again, they sat in silence, but that was all right. They didn't have to speak, they understood.


End file.
